Pregnancy Week 31

I'm a couple of days late posting this, but am happy to report that at 31 weeks 2 days, I am still pregnant. Yay!

Sunday night I wound up back in the hospital with horrible back pain and contractions. My contractions were 5 minutes apart, then after an hour or so spaced out to every 10 minutes, and then when they were 20 minutes apart, they let me go home. No meds or hospital stay needed this time. Thank goodness.

I had another appt with my regular OB in Decatur on Tuesday. Thankfully he seems more on board with what's going on, and is being more realistic that I have some very serious issues here, and that I most likely will not make it to my scheduled c-section at 37 weeks.

We also discussed the risks of going to 37 weeks, and if the game plan should be re-evaluated. With my risk factors of large baby, excess fluid (was back up to 25 this week) and my classical c-section scar, my risk of rupturing is pretty high. Dr. P plans to call the MFM's in Springfield next week and try to come up with a new gameplan. He said it's hard to say when it may be too late to deliver, or when it's too early for the baby. He said if I rupture at home, we'd "wind up with a dead baby, and probably not a good outcome for mom either." Eek. I'm glad he put it so bluntly so Davey could understand how serious of a situation it would be if that were to occur.


We have to weigh both risk factors and try to make a decision. To me it's a no-brainer...if it's a matter of me and baby dying, or baby needing a little bit of oxygen from a nasal cannula for a few days...I choose the nasal cannula. We're not talking delivering at week 25 here, or even 30. If I make it to week 34, I think we really need to make a decision.


Dr. P also told me that at this point, if I'm having regular contractions at all, that I need to come in. If I have to go to the hospital 50 times between now and when I deliver, he said it doesn't matter. I'm to a size now that contracting at all could mean rupturing.


On a side note, I measured my uterus today with a tape measure and I'm measuring 37 weeks. I measure 14.5 inches from the top of my pubic bone to the top of my uterus. The baby is measuring 3 weeks ahead (he should be about 4lbs 11oz today), so that would put me at 34.2 weeks, so the rest must be the extra fluid causing my uterus to be so large.


Still holding out for 32 weeks. After that I'll take things day by day.

Stellan is Healed

If you've been following mckmama's blog the last couple of days, then you know that Stellan's SVT is gone. The doctors were able to do a successful ablation and fix his little heart. :)

His Mommy posted this video lastnight of the family's reunion. I cried the entire way through it. ^_^





His Mom also posted this blog a couple of days ago on miracles. Much of what she had to say completely hit home for me, as I've gone through many of these same emotions. People always call the triplets "miracles" because they were born so small, and not only survived, but have no lasting effects because of it. Even though part of me knows that they are miracles, it still is hard for me to hear when people say it.


Joey day 1


Elijah day 6



Rowan week 2




One of the hardest things I went through while my babies were in the NICU was watching other babies around me die, or hearing about other mom's online who's triplets were born at the same gestation mine were, but who didn't make it. The guilt I felt was overwhelming. Instead of wondering "why me??" I was constantly wondering "why not me??" Why were they losing their babies, but I wasn't? I knew that those babies were loved as much as mine were, and that just as many people were praying for those babies as they were mine. So why did mine live, but not theirs? It was something that I struggled with that first year, and a part of me still does. Every time someone calls Elijah, Joey and Rowan miracles, it still stings just a little, because I still think of all of those parents who didn't receive their miracle.


I can't put it into words quite like MckMama does, so I wanted to share the link with you so you could read it. Maybe it will hit home for some of you like it did me.


And for what it's worth, I do believe in miracles. I just wish everyone could have their miracles.

Discouraged

After a week of being contraction free, I thought that I was better. I had gone from being afraid that I could deliver at any moment, to believing I was going to make it to 37 weeks.

Then lastnight, the contractions started again. I was once again making that decision whether or not to go to the hospital. Thankfully after a few hours the contractions stopped, but I know it's going to be a bumpy ride from here on out. Lastnight the contractinos didn't begin until 6:00 pm. But this morning when I got out of bed I started having them right away. As of right now they are more of the braxton hicks type contractions, coming every 8-10 minutes. There are some stronger contractions every now and then, but definitely nothing to go to the hospital over. Yet I know it won't be long before these little "irritation" contractions will turn into something bigger. Lastnight they started out small, then for an hour and a half or so were quite strong. I waited it out, and they stopped. If they had gotten any stronger I would have had to head back up to Springfield.
(I was rating the pain at a 5, when I start rating them at a 6 is when I'm heading to the hospital) The braxton hicks type is more of a tightening across the top and middle of my belly. The "real" contractions cause more of a cramping and pain way low in the uterus. Not a good sign when you start to have those.


I hadn't thought about it until lastnight, but it does kind of make sense that I'm having contractions again. The reason I was having contractions was because my uterus had gotten to a size that it just couldn't handle. So they brought my fluid levels down some, and that helped. I was under the impression that if my fluid levels came down, and stayed down, that I should be able to go full term. But while the fluid was going down, baby kept getting bigger. He has gained 1 1/4 pounds since I went into the hospital. So wouldn't it make sense that if my uterus is back up to the size it was 2 1/2 weeks ago, that I would start to have contractions again?

I have absolutely no idea what's going to happen. I could have a few more days or even weeks of these lighter type of contractions. Or I could be heading up to the hospital tonight. I just don't know.


I'm taking it easy. I'm drinking my water. I'm laying down. I'm trying not to stress about it. I'm glad I'm almost 31 weeks vs. 28 weeks, I'm trying to "stick it out just a few more weeks". I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be doing.



Which is why it's so damned discourging.

Pregnancy Week 30

First of all, can I get a big YAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY for making it to 30 weeks?!

YAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulder just by getting out of the "20's" and into the "30's". I did NOT want to have another twenty-something week baby. And now we've made it safely out of the 20's so I don't have to worry about that anymore! Yay!

I had my first appointment with my regular OB today since my hospital stay. I say appointment, though I'm not sure I'd exactly call it that... They did my ultrasound, and according to the measurments my fluid levels are at 23cm today, which is a decrease of 5cm since Friday. I'm not buyin' it. They didn't measure the fluid the same way they did in Springfield, so I'm just not very confident that they measured it correctly.

Then we had our "appointment" with my doctor. I kid you not it lasted less than 2 minutes. Let me first say that the typical appt with Dr. P lasts about 30 seconds to 1 minute. My friend Shelby sees this doctor too, so she can back me up on this.

Here's what was said during my 1 1/2 minute appt today:


Doctor walks in the room..

Doctor: "So what did Springfield have to say." (it came out more of a statment than a question)

Me: "About what?" (I was in the hospital for 3 days dude...where do you want me to begin??)

Doctor: "About anything."


*long pause...


Me: "Um...that I had excess fluid and that the baby is measuring large...."

Doctor: "Ok. Well we'll see you back weekly for fluid checks. Then we'll go ahead and schedule your c-section for 37 weeks I guess."

Me: dumbfounded look on face, speechless that he's not discussing anything else with me.

Doctor: As he's writing out my appt for next week, "Do you have any questions?"

Me: "Um....I....well....I guess not?"

Doctor: "Ok, see ya next week." And walks out the door.


Are you KIDDING ME???? Not one single question was asked about my hospital stay. Not once did he ask me how I was feeling now, or if I was having any more contractions. Nothing was mentioned about what the game plan was if I go into labor at home, or if I rupture at home, or what hospital I should go to. He had zero interest whatsoever in my well being. ZERO. Total disregard for my feelings and how I've been handling things.

Is that not CRAZY?!?!?!

So me and Davey talked on the way home, and if I go into labor any earlier than 37 weeks, we're going to Springfield. Even if it's the evening of 36 weeks 6 days, we're heading to Springfield. I'm actually hoping that I go into labor during week 36 just so I don't have to deliver in Decatur. Isn't that sad?

On a good note though, it didn't appear that the fluid levels had gone up any. There were still 2 large pockets of fluid, but they didn't look any bigger than they did on Friday.

And the GREAT news? This little guy now weighs 4 pounds 2 ounces!!! He's in like the 93rd % for his weight! But for his height he's actually measuring a week behind, LOL. So he's apparently short and chubby. :) I have no clue how big this little guy is going to get, but I'm guessing once he gets to the 6 1/2 pound mark, I'm going to either start having contractions, or I'm going to just go into hard labor. That's what happened with the triplets- I got to the size my body thought was full term and I just went into labor. Their combined weights were 5lbs 14oz, but when you add in the 3 placentas and the 3 sacs of fluid I was about the same size I was when I delivered Kadence.

But we shall see. Right now my contractions are few and far between, and I'm really hoping it stays that way at least until week 35. By then, if he keeps gaining at a rate of an ounce a day, he will weigh almost 6 pounds. LOL. Pretty big for a 35-weeker!!


Here is my newest belly progression photo. My belly didn't grow a whole lot from week 27 to week 30 because of all of the fluid that I've lost, but baby has put on about a pound and a half since then! And I'm rounding out quite nicely, it looks like I have a basketball under my shirt now. :)

Tough.

The last couple of weeks have been tough. Really tough. I'm doing my best to cope with everything that has been thrown my way, but the days just keep getting longer and harder.


I am not a very patient person. I wish I were, but I'm not. If someone could show me a magic ball where I could just peek into the future and know what complications were going to arise, and when I was going to deliver, I could handle this all so much easier. I'm going to go into labor at home? Fine. When? I'm going to have a premature baby? Fine. What week?


I like information. I like it when the doctors are straight with me and tell me what will most likely happen. I like to search the internet for information so that I can educate myself. This not knowing is what's killing me. But there is no way of knowing, no crystal ball to peek into. According to the doctors, my fluid levels will most likely rise back to the level it was at previously by the end of next week. But it might not. Or it may rise by this Tuesday. They just don't know.


For now I'll just take comfort in the fact that tomorrow I'll be 30 weeks. The survival rate for 30-weekers is 95%, with just a 5% chance of long-term disabilities. Also I am thankful that this little guy is so big for his age. If he were born tomorrow he would probably be 4 pounds vs. where he "should" be which is 3 pounds. I am thankful that he has already received his doses of steroid shots for his lungs.


So while I have a lot on my mind, and a lot to worry about, I also have a lot to be thankful for. I need to try to refocus my thoughts to the good things, and try not to worry so much about what could go wrong. It's so hard not to worry though...

Not exactlly what I was hoping for..

But not horrible either...

I had another appt this afternoon at St. John's with the MFM doctors. They did a scan and found out that while the baby's heart is handling the Indocin just fine, my fluid levels didn't come down at all over the past 3 days. (they remained at 28cm) So, they discontinued the meds because they said they had obviously done all that they were going to do.

So now what?


Good question.


Now it's just a waiting game. 1 of 3 scenarios could happen.

The least likely scenario- my fluid will remain at 28cm for the remainder of my pregnancy and will not rise any more. Very doubtful.

The scariest scenario- my fluid could return to a scary level in just a few days. This would mean lots of contractions again, and most likely pre-term labor.

The most likely scenario- my fluid levels will return to scary levels in approximately 2 weeks. This is what they see most often.


So the plan is that if begin having regular contractions, I get my butt back to St. John's so they can monitor me and assess things. They would still try to stop labor at this point, but with what I'm not sure. Mag again? We didn't really discuss what they would use to stop contractions. If I'm laboring too hard, they will go ahead and do the c-section due to my risk of rupturing.

If my uterus remains calm, then I go have my fluid levels measured via sonogram every week from here on out at Decatur with my regular Ob/Gyn. If it gets dangerously high, then they'll send me to St. John's in Springfield. Most likely I will not be delivering in Decatur- unless of course I would happen to make it to full term.(very doubtful)


Since I've stopped taking the Indocin I've already noticed an increase in the amount of contractions. Fortunately nothing regular yet. But I'm guessing over the next few days I'm going to be having more and more.


I'm trying not to let this news get me down, and am trying to count my blessings. I'll be 30 weeks on Monday, which is 4 weeks further than I made it with the triplets! That's something right?! My big goal is still 32 weeks, so I'm still holding onto that hope. Only 17 more days...

Well my scan went really well today- lots of good news to report. I’ll try my best to explain things and try to make some sense, I know this is a lot of information to take in. Trust me, I know. ;o) I apologize if it's choppy or if I repeat myself.


- My fluid levels went down from 36 to 28, (they measure the fluid in centimeters) which is a good thing! The normal range for amniotic fluid around the baby is 5-20, so at 36, mine was getting really high. The medicine I’m on, Indocin, is what’s decreasing the fluid.

- They will check my fluid levels again on Friday, and if they’ve come back down into normal range, they will take me off of the Indocin.

- They only like to give Indocin as a temporary fix, and do not like pregnant patients to be on it longer than two weeks. So hopefully this Friday I can stop taking it.

- As I mentioned before, Indocin can cause damage to the baby’s heart. The doctor explained this in more detail today. Basically what can happen is the medicine can cause the baby’s PDA valve to close prematurely. It can be reversible while the baby is still in the womb- simply by taking you off of the medication, the baby’s heart valve may open back up as it should be. But then when the baby is born, the valve can stay opened, which when a baby is born, it’s supposed to close. The way they normally get baby’s heart valves to close when they are born (both Eli and Joey had this problem because they were preemies) is to give Indocin. However, Indocin would not work and they would have to do surgery to close the valve. Sound confusing? It is. Let’s just hope none of that happens.

- If the fluid levels do go down to normal range on Friday, the plan is to take me off of the medication, and to keep checking my fluid levels every few days. There is a good possibility that my fluid levels will begin to rise again, though how quickly they don’t know. The doctor said that typically the levels do not rise as quickly as they went down. So since it took a week for my fluid levels to return to normal, it should take longer than a week for them to go back up to where they were in the dangerous level. We’re of course hoping it takes the fluid several weeks to rise to that level again, but it’s so hard to say what will happen.

- As of today, the baby was handling the Indocin very well. They will check his heart again on Friday.


- The hope is that by lowering my fluid levels, that will hold off pre-term labor at least for a couple more weeks. They cannot give me Indocin again after week 32 because the risks are far too high for the baby after that point. We have not discussed what we will use to stop my labor if I should happen to go into labor again past week 32.

- We really have no long-term plan. For right now we’re taking it 3 days at a time.

- Things are looking much better today than they were a few days ago, but it’s still terrifying when the doctors are throwing words at you such as “rupturing” and “hemorraging” and asking how far away your closest hospital is, and telling you how minutes can make a difference if something goes terribly wrong at home. I hate having to worry about these things constantly. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.


I’m feeling much better about things as far as the immediate future is concerned. Knowing that I should have at least another couple of weeks to keep this baby cooking is such a huge relief. I have been through so many emotions this past week I’m surprised I didn’t have a nervous breakdown to be completely honest with you. But for now I feel that I can breathe again, and know that every single day that I’m able to keep this little guy in is doing him so much good. I’m feeling very confident that I can make it to 32-weeks now. Such a turn-a-round from last week when at 28 weeks 2 days I thought for sure he was going to be born.

Things could change at any minute, but we’ll just keep praying that things keep going in this direction. Of course a full-term baby would be fantastic, but making it to 32 weeks is my first BIG goal that I’m trying to make it to.

Ok, so actually this Friday is my first BIG goal. 3 days at a time my doctor told me...just 3 days at a time.

The Game Plan

Ok, I'm going to try to line out what the "game plan" is for me over the next couple of weeks. All of this could change at any moment, i.e. if I go into labor again, or if the meds start having a negative effect on the baby. But here's what the plan is thus far:

- I am on Indomethacin (Indocin), 25mg 3x daily. Indocin is used to help stop contractions, and one of it's side effects on the baby is that it reduces the amount of amniotic fluid around the baby. In most cases this would be a very bad thing, but in my case, it would be a good thing because of my overabundance of amniotic fluid is what is causing my contractions.

- Side effects of Indocin on mother are- fatigue, dizziness, and depression. All of which I have had since taking it. But if it keeps the baby in, I'll gladly take it.

- Possiblie side effects of Indocin on baby- it reduces the amount of amniotic fluid by making baby pee less, so they have to keep a close eye on his kidney function. It also could effect his heart by prematurely closing his PDA valve. And the 3rd potentially harmful side effect is a bowel perforation. The side effect to his heart is the most common, and the one I am most concerned about. However, from talking with the doctors and doing some research online, this typically does not occur if they discontinue the Indocin by week 31-32.

- I will be going to St. John's Hospital in Springfield every 3 days while I am on this medicine to have an u/s done to check fluid levels, check baby's kidneys, and check the fluid levels around the baby. If at anytime they find something is wrong, they will discontinue the meds and most likely keep me overnight to see how I handle contractions without the medicine.

- If I go into labor at home, I am to go to St. John's hospital. We will no longer be going to Decatur Memorial during this pregnancy.

- My risk of hemorraging is quite high if I go into labor, so it is very important for me to go to the hospital if I do go into labor at home. The doctor told me that instead of thinning and shortening my cervix, my contractions instead could be effecting my c-section scar by thinning it and tearing it apart. (lovely as that sounds..)

- After they take me off of the Indocin (I'm actually hoping they take me off of it within a week) we'll see how my contractions are and go from there. I'm not sure what the next step will be to stop labor after that, we haven't gotten that far.



So that's all I can think of right now. If you have any other questions, just leave me a comment and I'll try to answer it the best I can.


I have an appt tomorrow at St. John's, so I'll try to post when I get home tomorrow. Hoping and praying the meds aren't having any negative effects on baby, and that they don't keep me in the hospital again. I feel a little bit more comfortable being in the hospital, but at the same time, if they're keeping you in the hospital, it means there is something wrong, and I don't want the either.

Keep checking my Twitter and Facebook for updates throughout the day. Thanks again for the prayers and comments. :)

October 31st Update

I think many of you know, but I went into the hospital late Tuesday night with preterm labor. I had Davey's dad drive me to Decatur, and Davey (who had just gotten to work) met me at the hospital. I wasn't even sure if I should go in, but finally decided I'd better at least get checked.

After 2 shots of terbuteline, my contractions weren't stopping, so they put me on Magnesium Sulfate, which is a very strong drug given through an IV to try to stop contractions. After that didn't work, they put me in an ambulance and transferred me to St. John's Hospital in Springfield. (the same hospital where the triplets were born)

After hours of very strong, very frequent contractions (I was rating them at about a 6 on the pain scale, and at one point I had no breaks between contractions, one right after the other, just seconds, not minutes apart), they finally began to let up. They would seem to come and go all throughout the day and evening. I'd have a break from contractions for an hour or more, sometimes several hours, then they would pick back up again and become painful and frequent.

During an u/s on Wednesday, they discovered that there is a TON more fluid around baby than there should be. And also that baby is much larger than he should be- he measured 3lbs 3oz, when he should have been right around 2lbs 2oz. They have diagnosed me with Gestational Diabetes, as it seems to be the only thing that fits for extra fluid and large baby- but they're not 100% sure. My blood sugars have been good the last couple of days, so I'm not sure if that's the cause or not.

They started me on betamethasone Wednesday morning, which is the steroid shots for the baby's lungs. Fortunately I got my 2 doses in, which is what they really want before you deliver.


After my uterus finally calmed down yesterday, they decided I could go home on Indocin, which is also a medicine that is supposed to stop contractions. It is a very strong medicine that can be dangerous for the baby, so I have to go to Springfield every 3 days to have an u/s done to check on baby and the fluid levels around the baby. Indocin works by making baby pee less, which is very helpful for my uterus due to all of the extra fluid already. This drug can cause heart problems in the baby,(it can cause the PDA valve in the baby's heart to close prematurely) which is why I have to go in every 3 days for an u/s.


Lots of scary stuff, but we're taking it day by day at this point. I will post an update later about what my instructions are, and what our big game plan is for the next few weeks.


I need to go lay down for a bit now, but I'll keep you posted. Thanks for all of the prayers and comments from those of you who have been following my Twitter and Facebook- it means so much to us. ^_^

Pregnancy Week 28

You know how the past 27 weeks just flew by? Yeah. Well this week time came to a screeching halt. I find myself counting the days now until I deliver. Last week I would get a backache or something and say, "Only 9 weeks and 4 days to go...", or I'd just be exhausted and say, "Only 9 weeks and 2 days to go..."

I'm defnitely to that point. The point where being pregnant is no longer fun and cute...instead it's uncomfortable and you feel like a whale.

I am so there.


But I am so willing to take the backaches and acid reflux for the next 9 weeks so that we have a healthy baby! Just because complaints have begun does NOT mean I'm ready to give up by any means. I would carry this baby for another 7 months if it meant he would be born healthy.


Signs and Symptoms

- Backaches. Major backaches.

- More acid reflux than I had been having.

- Fatigue keeps getting worse, as expected.

- Contractions were much better this week- hoping it stays that way!

- Baby should weigh in at about 2 1/2 pounds now, and about 15 inches long.



My most recent belly shot taken tonight. See why my back is hurting? ;o)